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How To Maintain A Healthy Long Distance Relationships

How To Maintain A Healthy Long Distance Relationships

Long Distance Relationships Suffer During Troop Deployment

Marriage is an unheralded victim of war – especially when husbands and wives are still struggling to build a healthy relationship when the military partner is re-assigned. A long-distance relationship then ensues which is a delicate balance of two people’s emotions, expectations, and trust.
A marriage with cracks can be split wide open by prolonged separation when a spouse is shipped overseas.

The Marriage Medics, (ISBN- 0-9760844-0-6) by Cynthia Cooper Ph.D. shares the reasons why some couples fall head-first into divorce and others walk away restored and emotionally healthy. Couples who rescue their relationships seem to do so by using a network of support.

The Marriage Medics collects your ideal relationship support network into a single book. Each of the five experts contributing to the book has seen hundreds of divorces from their unique professional perspective, and each knows exactly what factors can determine success or failure.

In The Marriage Medics, Commander May sheds light on the spiritual aspects of marriage, taking an ecumenical approach to a subject that many couples struggle with.
May earned a Master of Divinity from Shaw Divinity School in North Carolina. From 1973-79, May was an officer and pilot in the Marine Corps. He joined the Navy in 1983 as a chaplain and continues in that role to this day.

In any marriage, Commander May says, “Each couple is going to have to find its spiritual center and define it within the context of the relationship. This process will require dialogue, conflict resolution skills, listening skills, and negotiation.”

In Commander May’s experience, the issue that most often causes marriages to fail is trust. It doesn’t matter what the issue is, if the trust is broken, the marriage suffers. If the trust isn’t rebuilt, the marriage fails.

The Three A’s Produce Resentment: Unspoken resentments can grow out of "The Three A's" addiction (be it to drugs, alcohol, or TV), affairs, and abuse. Cooper points out that such dysfunctions can be alleviated by various means including identifying the problem, learning how to handle emotions, and clinical therapy.

Money. Some 43% of all married couples argue over money, making it the No. 1 reason husbands and wives fight. The alternative, says veteran banker Daniel Smith, is for couples to realize that managing finances in a household are like running a business. Spouses should stop living beyond their means, forget about "keeping up with the Joneses,” agree on a financial plan, go on a credit-card "diet"--and celebrate when they pay off debt!

Many of the strategies couples use to create happiness and peace seem rather straightforward and they are. Remember it does not require a genius to build a happy marriage. A simple person with commitment will do.

Listen closely when your spouse is talking. It’s a sign of respect. Give your undivided attention. Nod in agreement occasionally – it tells your partner you are listening.
Remove the words “I told you so” from your vocabulary because it automatically creates resentment and anger. When you are proven right after an argument, your spouse will know this and so there’s no need to point it out.

Seek Freshness: There is a truism: Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. If you’re struggling, you need to try something new, but that doesn’t necessarily mean a new wife or a new husband. Discover something new in yourself so you can discover something new in your mate that you’ve never seen before.

The experts who contributed to The Marriage Medics are:
Cynthia Cooper is a clinical psychotherapist who has counseled couples and families for decades on how better to communicate and relate to each other. 

She possesses a doctoral degree in clinical psychology, human science research and education, a specialist degree in humanistic psychology, human science research and education, and a Master of Science degree in clinical psychology.

Commander Bobbitti May, U.S. Navy chaplain, counsels military personnel who are separated due to longtime overseas assignments, helping them with the spiritual aspects of marriage, taking an ecumenical approach to a subject that many couples struggle with.

Dr. Patti Britton is a nationally recognized, board-certified clinical sexologist and sexuality educator. Her insights have been featured in Ladies Home Journal, Penthouse, Maxim,, and Cosmopolitan to name a few. For more than two decades she has coached thousands of women and men on how to overcome the sexual challenges they may face.

John Hunt, a Las Vegas attorney who specializes in family law, warns couples what they will face if they decide to divorce. Hunt gives practical advice on how to reduce the legal pain as much as possible.
Dan Smith, a banking executive with Republic Bank in Southeast Michigan, has a perspective on how money affects a marriage gained from decades of helping couples re-mortgage their houses to divide assets in divorces.

The Marriage Medics comes highly recommended by reviewer Jennie S. Bev, managing editor of who says the book “teaches couples what to expect realistically from their partners --and themselves-- and how to act, also realistically when it comes to sustaining their marriages. It’s like having a knowledgeable friend who knows the ins and outs of married life.”

Tami Brady of the Blether Book Review says “Though The Marriage Medic is meant mainly for those couples with marital difficulties, much of the information included in this book will be helpful to any couple. 

This is particularly true of the sections on communications, a vision of the relationship, underlying resentments, and gender roles. These issues and hints relate directly to nearly any relationship and therefore will be of value to almost any reader. “


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